Watching my kid slip away.

My 17 1/2 Year old daughter and I went for a walk to the Grocery Store today. A nice little walk of about 1 1/2 Miles that does both our waistlines good. I left the house in a great mood and returned 2 hours later feeling just a bit older and a lot sadder then when I started this journey out.

We used to enjoy our Times together and were able to talk about anything and everything. She is a very good kid, graduated an entire Year early out of High School and has stayed away from the entire drug and alcohol scene. Something to be very proud out. Now she is only 5 month away from her 18th Birthday and life is coming at her fast. We agreed 2 Years ago that one month after she turned 18 she would spread her wings and fly.
Yes, it is hard to watch your kid embark on the real life journey of building her own life, but these days it is becoming beyond frightening for me to have to watch.

She is working an evening job full time in a Restaurant which brings her NO Benefits at all and pays her all but $7.25 an hour. At about 32 hours a week, you and I know that this is nowhere near enough to make ends meet. She gets home about 11pm at night and then sleeps until about 1 pm the following day. This has caused so many arguments between us by now I have lost count. Ever since she graduated from School that seems to be the extend of her days. Work for 6 hours, come home eat and sleep the rest of the time. She has no Friends and no social life. I am more then worried about that, because she will need the security net of "friends" around her when she first takes the steps into adulthood.

Today was no different. Typical Mom I had warned her against wearing high heeled boots to walk so far, she of course knowing more then me, wore them anyway and that is where the problem already started. Of course it didn't take longer then only a few minutes before her feet were killing her. My typically motherly remark of course was the predictable: "I told you not to wear them" Her typically teenage remark:" Yeah, yeah I know Mom."

On the way I asked her again about getting either a better paying job in the daytime so she could actually try to have a social life and get home at a decent hour. She started snapping all over the place, which truly sat my teeth on edge. I am trying to remember these days that the truth is that she is now at the point of: "I no longer need to listen!" What worries me is that she also seems to have no drive to succeed any longer. Her dreams seem to have evaporated.

I reminded her that she had only 5 month left until her 18 Birthday and what she wanted to do with her life when she got there. Her remark? "I don't know, I guess I figure it out when I get there!"

I am not sure if I want to beat her with a stick at this point or wrap her up in Bubble Wrap. All I know is that we no longer can have any normal two way debate or conversation without me wanting to scream after and her feeling hurt. Watching my kid slip slowly away from me completely without her having a clue how to be anything even remotely adult is killing me.

I guess I might as well print out the "Administration Application" to the School of hard knocks for her now and let her fill it out.