On pride and what is costs you...

once upon a Time there was a german born woman who had a lot of kids. Some died, others were taken away, but 3 of them remained with her to raise.
Times really were never easy, but she loved her Babies never the less. There weren't 3 kids who where closer to each other then those 3.
They were her monsters, her tribe of little wild indians until one faitful day tey all grew up to one extend or the other. Each seemed to believe that they were better of alone and if they did no longer have their mother and each other.
Pride came in a long way and soon enough they couldn't even talk to each other ay longer. As soon as they would get on the phone the fighting and screaming would start. So they finally just quit talking to each other. There was no longer any point in it.

Now years past by and the mother only had one child left. That one had returned to her Mommy, heart sick and heart broken. She missed her older sister soooo much, but thought that her older sister didn't love her, the way she had just turned away from her when she had gone back to her mom. She no longer could speak to her,the wounds were just too deep. But she missed the closeness, the laughter and the silly games the used to play with each other.
She missed her baby brother (who wasn't a baby anymore, but was it to her never the less). She missed the way things were. She missed being a family with them. And she became more and more cynical about life in her young age. She no longer trusts anyone who says I love you.

The Mother too missed her babies a lot. She missed the sparkling eyes of her oldest. Her heart breaking when she couldn't even wish her "happy birthday" the day she turned 19, nor wish her a good graduation. But she knew that her daughter dispised her, having already made it clear that she thought her mother was a horrible woman. So she didn't even call her, but boy did she cry that day alone in her home. She no longer had any photos of her daughter or anything. Looking at them was just too painful. She just hoped that her Baby was having the sort of life she really wanted for her-self and was happy. After all what more could she ask for. She was hurt by the accussation that she had deserted her kids, but it had not been her that had left the family home. The kids had made that choice to depart and never come back. She was still where she always had been, dreaming of long gone days and laughter that could never be again.

Now being an old woman by now, she knew that nothing would ever be the same. She was looking forward to seeing her big boy who would come to visit her after 2 years. She was scared and nervous, dreading the day she would have to let him leave again. And leave he would. She knew that, for he had his own life to live now.

Each in their own way had way too much pride and the cost of that pride was to loose that which once upon her time meant the most in life to them. Each other. Now each has gone their own way and will have to continue to do so. The damage is no longer mendable, but still the mother sits in her home, looks upon the one babe she has left and trembles, knowing that in less then a year that child is gone as well.

She once upon a time had a nest full of laughter, screams, jokes and lots of love. Now soon she will only have one person left and that is her husband. He may not be perfect, he may not be what everyone had wanted him to be, but he still stands by her side and holds her on those nights when she cries for "their" children.
Thankfully those nights do not happen very often anylonger. She has finally grown out of it too as anyone must after loss. But she will never forget those she has given birth to, being part of her for the rest of her life.

The end.