I booked my Motel for San Antonio Today

So my husband finally came around enough to tell me that if I came up with the money for the Trip, he would be willing to go...

Between my daughter and me, we came up with enough so far to preregister and pay for the Motel Room during the stay at a very good price at that. I found a small extended Stay Motel with a full Kitchen Set up for only $56.00 a night average, which is not bad at all. So I booked it today before it is too late.

Now of course I still have to work on the Gas Money, food while there and the two Nights in Motel Rooms on the way there and back. Plus whatever else little bit we may need. A bit disheartening was that I really did not get any help from anywhere.
I had people saying they would help, but of course once it came down to it there was no help to be found. It happens that way, I know, but eh.

Either way, I am counting down the days until I see the kid again. She had her 18th Birthday this week during Warrior Week and I know that was not easy. But I did get a few letters from her by now and she seems to be doing fine.

Well to those of you out there praying for me, thank you!

Regina S.

Kick stop #3 in the Entrecard Hopper Game…

I started this Game on my first Blog: http://www.ReginaSunderland.com

and continued it on at http://www.journalofanaiforcemom.info , this is the Kick Stop #3 on my all around my personal Blogs Entrecard Hopper Game.

Here are the simple Rules.

I am going to the Inbox of the current Blog I am posting on and click on the Blog that dropped on me. Drop back and go to whomever advertised on that Blog. Drop and continue on in that manner until I either come to a full circle or a Blog that I have already been to with the current Blog.

So far I have noticed that it doesn’t take very long until you are cut short in your hopping. Not only is this a great way of finding new Blogs, get your Entrecard dropping in, but is a nice way to show some link love to unsuspecting strangers.

Who said giving had to be expensive.

Start Game:

http://www.girlsaremadeofsugarandspiceandeverythingnice.com/

http://www.mirasblog.com/

http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/

http://beetle-blog.com/

http://www.ladybanana.co.uk/

http://steampunkrings.blogspot.com/

http://athenaworkman.blogspot.com/

http://www.folkartbycampbelljane.blogspot.com/

http://www.artisticflairbydebdisalvo.blogspot.com/

http://welovecheeseandchocolate.blogspot.com/

http://behindthebit.blogspot.com/

http://gypsymare.blogspot.com/

http://lizzytdesigns.blogspot.com/

http://sewartsyblog.blogspot.com/

http://www.zpinkboudoir.info/

http://www.creationsbycarlota.com/

http://spottedcowsoaps.blogspot.com/

http://fiveoclocksomewherejewelry.blogspot.com/

http://silversachet.blogspot.com/

http://www.letsjumptogether.com/

http://www.onwebcheck.com/

http://mylifeatninetylookingbackandmovingon.blogspot.com/

http://www.urbanswirl.com/

http://gotakeittothelimit.blogspot.com/

http://angelsonyourshoulder.com/

http://selcom60-wommt.blogspot.com/

http://holy-cuteness.blogspot.com/

http://luckygirltrading.blogspot.com/

http://entrepreneurelife.blogspot.com/

(End Strand – I think this was my longest Strand so far)

http://www.richardm-itsmyjournal.blogspot.com/

http://treyc89.blogspot.com/

End no Entrecard present

http://financeandfitness.today.com/

http://www.money-attraction.com/

http://bloggerstop.net/2008/09/blogger-help.html

http://coolbusteratyourservice.blogspot.com/

http://ellieyandotcom.getpaidfrom.us/

http://www.jenncooks.com/

He thinks - I think, we are both right ...but!

I know a very confusing Title, but for all of you who are married this is not something you have never experienced. I am talking about you and your spouse having two completely way of looking at a situation, both having valuable points and but both having a different conclusion.

I hate to sound like a broken record and I wish that I could for once really have something super positive to report. Well actually I thought I did until the fight that was in the making last afternoon and finally erupted this morning.

The Topic of the fight? Money and priorities of course.
I say of course, because that is lately all we ever argue about. Lately I would feel safe to say that this is what about 90% of fights are about. Can I hear an Amen from the crowd?
So here is the situation and I really would like your input on it from both male and female.

Let me also say that I see where my husband is coming from and yes he is absolutely right with his statements (I am not even disputing that), but I still can not give in on it due to my points as you will see them.
So you get to play jury and judge, curious to see on the outcome.

The Background Story!

My husband works for Wal-mart (for over 13 Years now) and works 4 Days a week about 32 hours. When he gets home he sits down and entertains himself with his games etc. On the weekends he spends his days off from morning to night with his entertainments. No problem. Just a layout of how our days go.

I work out of my house, via Phone Fantasy Talk, writing Articles, Blog writing, Self-published Book Sales, freelance work when I can get it, my clips4sale Store and a few other venues. I start working around 6 am in the morning and stop about 9 pm at night (plus housework etc) on most days. Some days I work for up to 48 hours straight before I crash and sleep.

His income is guaranteed and steady if not nearly enough to cover bills, mine is not steady at all and I have to work thrice as hard just to make my part of the money. So with things economy wise as they have been, and most of my work is under luxury, it has been bad, bad, bad.

For example: My work week last week was 96 hours and my income $150.00 you want to tell me how that feels?

Which also means that our savings are slowly depleting.

So that is the financial background. Misc. other you need to know. My Daughters graduation from Basic Training is March 12th to March 15th in San Antonio. I reside in Las Vegas. This is extremely important to me to get there...see previous posts to understand better or take a look at Journal of an Airforce MOM

It is bad enough realizing and knowing that I have to beg for help from complete strangers just to be able to raise the funds (believe it or not I do have my pride too), but that is for my Baby and it means the world to both of us.

Now to the fight; This morning I have made the statement that I really needed to get the money together for the Trip and he stated that I need to just get my head out of my ass and realize that this is not going to happen.
That we are barely making it on a survival level and I am fixated on this. To get over it and accept the facts as they are.

I told him that ok, he is right and I do know that the chances of us going are extremely slim, but since I am working so much (at which he laughed and pointed out how little money I have been making like it is my fault) and Yes I am depending on the generosity of strangers and business sponsors who will get reviews, advertisements on my blogs etc in return of course, I may just make it without putting us deeper into jeapordy.

I told him that I can not give up on this! That I can not give up, I have to at least give it my best shot. If nothing else I have to keep trying to do it. If I can't make it then fine, but I will not give up. This is one of those things I can not do without! Actually the only thing.

So what is your verdict dear Jury. Should I listen to my husband and stop even trying, or should I continue to do my best and hope for the best possible results?

Hitting Walls no matter what I do...

So here is the deal! By now you all have pretty much figured out that my daughter Nickname IMP is at Airforce Basic Training Camp. So there is nothing new at all to that. I have been trying really hard to keep a stiff upper lip, keep my daily online journal which she will be able to read as soon as she graduates from there (click here), and which I will maintain as long as she is in the Airforce to do as my Logo states. Sending love 24/7!

It is no News either that the economy is pretty sluggish right now, that money is harder then honey to come by and that at least 90% of us are frustrated. Knowing this however and being able to sit here in calm and collective huddle saying to myself, oh well so what if you can't pay those bills because the prices are rising, but your income is going down daily is a completely different story.

At this point that is exactly what is happening, but that is not all folks. Oh no, not by a long shot. In a little less then 8 Weeks from now my daughter is graduating from Airforce Basic Training, she is turning 18 Years old during basic training and she wants nothing more then to see her Mom and Dad watch from the stance as she proudly marches down the strip there in her dress blues. I can't let her down, because well I am just about the only real family she has left. It is driving me insane. So far nothing I have tried to make the extra money is helping and there are days when I literally put over 24 straight in. I know I am burning the candle on both ends, not healthy, but I can't not work for a while.

I have set up a Chip In donation Box on the Journal of an Airforce Mom Blog, because reality is that I won't be able to manage it alone. No matter how I look at it, I can't do it. I watch the traffic decline, I have not even seen a single dollar donation there and honestly it is just so sad.
What drives me nuts even more that no matter how much your hold your hands out in friendship to other military Mom's, it seems like nobody wants to interact. I know I am not the only protective Momma Bear out there. So what is the issue? What is the problem?

I have suggest link trades, I have offered the blog to other military mom's as a writing spot to send messages to their kids. It is almost as if people don't read what you have to say.

Maybe it is just the 31 hours of being awake straight through that is talking right now, but have well really become that heartless? Tag me on that...what is your intake?

My Daughter is now in the Airforce and other updates

Good morning my Friends,

a lot has been happening since my last update here and I will try to keep it in an easy to read order. Not that simple and you will see why soon.
For Mommies these may be an emotional charged Post (it is for me writing it) so fair warning and you may wish to get some tissues before reading it.

As many of you have guessed by now, I am a pretty straight forward woman in the way I think, talk and act. What some of you may have noticed is that I am also a very loving Mom who for many years has wrapped her being around her kids. Yes, Kids as in plural there were three that was raised by me. Again yes you read correctly more then those, but those were all I was allowed by the powers that be to cherish, raise and love in person. The is a Story I will tell you some other time. When Divorce comes into play, things can get pretty ugly at times and kids can have their heads turned all sorts of ways. My Story is no different.
In my household we kept strict but reasonable Rules. You know those that mean, you are home at a certain time, your homework has to be done, you do your chores, you don't lie, you don't steal, you tell me where you are going and better be there, I know you friends. Simple normal things, but you also don't get everything you want just handed to you as well. With other words I am preparing you for the real world. You want something you have to earn it.

In my Ex husbands household there were no such rules, and the few he did have he just was too busy doing other things to re-enforce. The kids I did have the pleasure and pain of raising were two Girls - Diana & Regina JR & my son - Alexander.
My Ex and I had agreed to shared custody 6months / 6 months with alternating weekends. With other words if they were during the week with me, they would go to him on the weekends and vice verse. We thought it would be a good idea. It turned out to be a mistake.

I got remarried as you already know and my Ex for years just sort of flitted from lady to lady. Oh well that is most guys really, so can't say nothing about that. I have long since gotten over my hatred for the guy, we both fucked up and what happened happened.

All the years that I was married to him, his Father and Stepmother #4 didn't want anything to do with us, but as soon as they found out that we were divorced, suddenly they are crawling out of the woodwork. Now you have to understand that I don't have any parents so my kids have never really had any Grandparents. Something every child dearly wants. Of course the first meeting they are getting all sorts of things from them, presents, gifts etc. Ok, no problem.

A while later they invite my kids to Pennsylvania for a Summer Vacation. Not fine, not great, I knew things were starting to go wrong here. But they begged, he pushed and I finally gave in. Fine it is only a few weeks you can go, but promise me to come back home.
At this point they are now at the Age that they can chose where they want to live and my income was not the best. Let us face it, neither of us paid Child Support to the other, neither could afford it.

My kids went and had a marvelous time. They all hated Las Vegas and were happy to be gone. Of course during this Vacation it was all fun and games. Isn't it always. They came back, happy and with now new found Grandparents and a batch of lies and BS in their Bags as well. Their attitude towards my husband was already changing in my oldest and my youngest. My Middle on Regina (nick name IMP) always was more cautious of him. She didn't want her heart broken again. Now stress is starting to get worst in the home.

Less then one year later, my ex tells my kids some sort of horror story and they tell me on a Friday that they want to go live with their Grandparents for 1 Year to make it easier on all of us and that they were going to leave on Monday. I find that out at Work when I was still working for a Newspaper Promotions Company as a Typist.

The Flight is booked, this is during his period and I have the ...this is going to happen spill.
I asked my kids if this is what they really wanted. I begged them not to go, but I was pretty well told that they would go or run away. Nice ain't it?

Fine then go. They were happy there right? No clue that this is not going to be like on vacation, but all right. Go.
That was the last time I saw my oldest. Right before her 16th Birthday. She refused to ever return. Saying she finally had a real Mother there and that I had chosen my now husband over my kids. What a bunch of BS.
But here is the story how it really works. My oldest was treated like a Princess there. She always was the official "pretty girl", my son of course being the Boy was the Crown Prince. His father is the Grandfathers oldest. My middle child however was entirely too much like me. She is also too smart to fall for long to too many lies and found out real quick how things work.

Within about 3 months she begged me to be allowed to come home and told me her brother wanted to come as well. She never did want to seperate her family.
I borrowed the money and asked if Di wanted to return as well. The answer was no. Ok, fine your choice. I flew my middle child and my baby back to me.

Only it seemed that my Son didn't really want the rules again and missed Pennsylvania. He started causing more and more problems in school, started breaking just about every Rule in the book and started simply dissappearing at times. I had started dealing with anxiety attacks while my kids were gone, and a lot of other emotional issues set on by worries and stress. So this was not helping. The final straw came one night when I found him by his fathers apartment at 9:30 pm at night. He was supposed to be home before 7 pm and was somewhere completely different then I was told he was going to be.

When I found him he looked at me like I was some idiot bitch from hell. Fine you want to live with your father full time. (His father had made noises to that affect about 2 months before that he wanted to have Alex and me keep Gina). I guess that was what Alex wanted too, so I gave him his wish. Alex stayed that night with his Father and came the next day to get his stuff. This was about 2 years ago, since then he moved with his Father to Pennsylvania and I have seen him about 3 times. Neither Diana or Alex consider me their Mother anylonger. Beware of the power of Grandparents, money and lies.

The only one nobody besides me seemed to want was Regina JR. Imp could not be so easily swayed. She questions everything you tell her, she loves Rules and knowing someone is caring about her. She wanted to be with her Mom and we became closer then ever.
She also felt extremely abandoned by her brother and sister. Neither can talk to her longer then 30 seconds without them fighting. So they simply stopped talking. She never did get over her Father kicking her in the back which was the finally straw on my end. She has not seen him since then.

When she needed her tonsils removed (not good at an advanced age) it was her Mom and Step Dad who were by her side and it was her step dad that guarded her against all others like a Dragon. Hence her nickname for him Papa Dragon. Since then she only accepts her Step Dad as her Daddy and calls her father the Sperm Donor.

That is the background of the Story. Now Imp is gone as well. With the Economy the way it is she could not afford to go to college the way she had planned. This amazing little girl even graduated an entire year early out of High School and did so with Honors. I told you she was smart! Only to find out that she did not qualify for any Scholarships. She started working at age 16 and lost her job. Could not find another one either, since guess what she refuses to learn Spanish. Around here you have to be Mexican, speak Spanish or be a size 3. I am not kidding either.
During her last year in High School she needed me home to help her. That plus some really lovely comments from my boss as to my kids situation, prompted me to give up my job at which I would often have to work 50+ hours a week, no overtime, no benefits and no thank you. Doing the work of 3 people at the pay rate of 1.

This is when I started trying to make my living on the internet, doing whatever it takes to make ends meet. It was pretty good in the beginning, but since the economy went to shit, well lets just say money is tight. So after a lot of back and forth, and with Imp always liking the idea of the Airforce, she decided to join and try to make a Lifetime Career of it. (30 Years). Go to College throughout and get her Law Degree during. Smart Imp.

She left on Monday January 12th 2009 and I have been missing her ever since then.

On my end of course it means that my last baby has flown the nest, and I have had a difficult time with it. Trust me each time one of my kids left it almost tore me apart, but I always had to think of at least the remaining ones and that gave me the strength I needed to move forward.
Now with Imp gone as well I am sort of adrift. Have you ever heard of Empty Nest Syndrome? Trust me it is very very real. But I am learning to adjust and I focus on trying to earn the extra cash it is going to take to see her graduate in 8 more weeks.

Of course that too is not going to be a cake walk. Hell, how many of you have had to deplete their savings just to pay every day bills, because the bills raise, the cost of living is going up, I be damned if the income isn't getting lower and lower each day? Well, my household is no exception to the rule. I am currently $300 behind just on regular bills and making it is like pulling teeth.

I have figured out that I need to make $1200 extra just to take the trip down to San Antonio to see her graduate and spend the day with her before she goes on to the next step.
I have started a new Blog to keep connected to her daily in thoughts and spirits. She asked me to keep a Journal daily to let her know what I am up to and what is going on. I thought that this was a great idea and opportunity to connect with other Military Mom's as well, give Imp a positive journal (yes I am extremely careful what I post there) to read when she can and also a way to try to make money for the trip. I have added ads to it, posted my "hire me" sign up and yes even placed a donation via PayPal option on it. I know that I can't make the money by myself. I hate to ask for help, but this is not for me. This is for my IMP as well. She needs to see me in those stands when she marches down that field.We her Papa Dragon and I are the last of her family she has left that care about her. I can not let her down! NO NO NO NO!!!

If you would like to read the Blog, want to help out, join the readership etc. Please visit us at: http://www.Journalofanaiforcemom.info (yes I know an R is missing, but that was a typo when I registered it in, didn't mean to do it. Just couldn't afford to register it again.)

In the meantime, I am still writing as much as I can with Articles. I have tried several work from home job opportunities just to be extremely disappointed. Either they were scams, had large output to start with (I can't afford to pay even $25.00 right now to start anything, never the less those 99 and more upstarts) or just simply didn't pay off.

I am still working on the phones as well, but even there the business has dropped to almost nothing. I am a bit concerned, but eh.

Another downside of living in Las Vegas...there is no call for home crafted Items. So my handy crafts bunked as well. Sorry but I can't afford to spend $15.00 to make an Item, work on it for 6 hours and then sell it for $5.00

I want to move away from here so badly, but that too would cost money. Wouldn't it?

Last thing. I found this Website, they do give you a $5.00 Sign up bonus. If you like doing surveys, try things etc. You may want to give it a chance. I will make a bigger post about it later, but for now here is a link if you want to check it out. I honestly haven't done a lot with it yet, because I just had too many other things to deal with. But it looks pretty good.

Please forgive me..I have been tardy AGAIN

First allow me to wish you all a wonderful and blessed New Years! I know my posts have been at best sporadic and that is due to some personal little Time Management Issues! (click the link to see what I am talking about!)

But I am here now and would love to just touch on some very private subjects with you my friends. I know I have never met you, but in many ways you are the closest you come to trusted friends to me in this quick communications age.
Let me ask you a personal question if I may. Between friends you know?

Have you noticed that lately you spend more time on the internet, blogging, twittering, and all sorts of other social networking activities online then you do in the real world anymore? I mean has your online world become more real to you then your real world?

I have to say that I probably talk more to ladies and gents which I have never even met in person online on my Yahoo Messenger, in comments back and forth online then to my friends that live on the other side of town. We never seem to have time to get together for a cup of Coffee anymore! If I am not too busy, then she is! And yes you heard me correctly, I am actually down to one She now. All the others have moved away, moved on, moved through or have disappeared some other way from my real time radar screen.

With that said and out of the way, I want to mention that I am really concerned about just how lonely my private life will become soon. You see my daughter is "at last" (poor thing is going nuts waiting) leaving to Air Force Basic Training Camp on Monday January 12th 2009. In so many ways she was the last real feminine companionship I had for months now.

Oh I know, I am married and I should not fear being lonely, but truth be told... I know I will miss her horribly. My husband is not as companionable as my daughter. Most men aren't by nature, they need their alone time and are really not about the "emotional" bits. Let us face it, that is why females have female friends...So we have someone to fill up our Emotional Tank.

Did you know we had one of those? An Emotional Tank? Yup, I can feel mine going on empty quiet often. It is that little tank that tells me I am appreciated, loved and wanted.

My hubby and I have been together for 8 Years now (going on 5000) and married for 3. Yes, I know we were shacking up, but as you can see with purpose. I really couldn't afford another divorce payment and neither could he. In our own way we wanted to make certain that we could actually live together and be compatible for 5 Years before we tied the knot.
Well we were (more or less) and so we went ahead and got married. But like every other "OLD" married couple, the romance slowly slips out, we are both tired just about all the time and we have now sort of rested into a nice comfortable Living side by side.

But there are just so few things that you need a friend to giggle with. For example going Window Shopping for new shoes, for a new dress, jewelry (that you may never buy because you can't afford to, but darn it all it is still fun to try on right?). Well my hubby has no patience for that and I really hate to be rushed. So no window shopping for female stuff for me. Besides going alone is BORING!!!

I have started working out a bit... I have even made a clip for my "sissy gurl friends" (the really feminized males that are more female then I am at times) and my genetic lady friends to follow along. I have put it up for Sale on a Clips4Sale Store....Ok it is in an adult clips4sale store, but I can promise you I am not NUDE! Don't worry. Get a hold of me if you want the link to it.

What else is new? I have been working on becoming more tolerant towards other religions I just don't understand well. So in order to get along with my in-laws I have started taking Bible Study with them on those Sundays that I can actually breath long enough without having to rush off to do some work on the internet. Now that wouldn't be so bad right? It isn't bad at all, actually rather interesting, but... Yes, I know you knew there was going to be a butt. They are Jehova Witnesses and have some rather strict views on many things. Well, like a I said, what right do I have to condem another persons belief I have no idea what they are even about. So I am learning and listening and learning some more.

This should be my female interaction with my Mother in law right? I love the dear lady, but well let us just say ...If I have to listen to one more depressing thought, one more female illness etc..I may just become suicidal myself.

Now I have to go off and stir my Chilli I am making for Dinner. I promise I won't be as long next time.

As always...

Thank you for reading my long posts!

Regina Sunderland
aka Goddess Bella Donna

8 Christmas themed Blogs worthy of mention!

For the last few days as I waltzed my way through the various Blogs, I was wondering how many of you actually are feeling any sort of Christmas Spirit right now. Of course this developed into this month Blogs worthy of mention post. Allow me to point out that finding 8 Christmas “Themed Blogs” was extremely difficult to find on Entrecard. I would say, that most people are just no longer in the Christmas Mood or I am way too early! So without further ado, here are the 8 Christmas Themed Blogs worthy of mention.

1. http://chica-pumuckl.blogspot.com/ (Cat Lovers need to take a look at this cuter then dickens Blog. Thanks for always bringing a smile to my face when I need it the most)

2. http://lingzspot.blogspot.com/ (Not particularly “Christmas fancy”, but I did appreciate the “Christmas Graphics Comments”

3. http://www.singaporeaninlondon.blogspot.com (For the Santa Claus Photo and Blog Post about Christmas coming to Selfridges in Oxford Street)
4. http://amylilleydesigns.blogspot.com (check out Red, Red, Red…. Those Ornaments are darling!)

5. http://sewingmom.com (Well MOM knows how to sew, and since I love to put needle and thread to material myself as often as possible, this blog with their ideas for Christmas got my attention. Happy Holidays “mom”.)

6. http://gruggersway.today.com (ok, maybe not the way I was thinking, but this is definitely “Christmas themed”, this Gent talks about a few very pertinent ideas in regards to Christmas)

7. http://www.thriftymommaramblings.com (Again no cute holiday graphics on this one, but a lot of fun information for your shopping and making ends meet pleasure)

8. http://www.symphonyoflove.net/blog (Just read the post http://www.symphonyoflove.net/blog/177/spread-the-christmas-spirit-and-positive-wishes.html and you will understand)

The original Idea was finding 30 of them, but after surfing for 2 hours I gave up on the idea. To be honest, it was getting rather depressing. Not that I have anything to say here, my blog is not particularly Christmas Themed either.

So this is your big chance dear fellow Bloggers, do you know of any Christmas Themed Blogs worthy of mention? Please don’t just nominate your own Blog here either (yes you can tack your URL in here so you can have a link out, but you have to nominate at least 1 other Blog that does not belong to you!).

This Posting will be cross posted at one of my other Blogs: http://www.ReginaSunderland.com so you have two chances of getting your Blog and that of those you admire known!

Merry Christmas Theme hunting everyone!